Chances are if you have any access to the internet connected world you’ve already heard of Ardi Rizal, a 2-year-old Indonesian toddler who has a two pack, 40 cigarette-a-day, smoking habit.
Wait let me repeat that: a 2-year-old toddler who smokes two packs a day.
Now in my decade plus covering the internet and its assorted memes I’ve seen and heard of some really strange things. A couple of girls and a cup, half man half tree, (otherwise known as TLC’s freak of the week) and tales of Microsoft fonts that when properly placed predicts 911.
But this tops them all, according to widely circulated news reports the two year old not only sports a boiler, but curses with indignation when he doesn’t get his smokes.
Here is “mommy dearest’s” take:
“He’s totally addicted. If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.’
He “father” weighed in with this gem
“He looks fine to me.”
Now the Libertarian in me refuses to get judgmental when it come to how others raise there kids and as sure as the sky is blue the late 1990’s Tobacco Settlements were the biggest socialist scams in the history of this country.
But I’m going to go out on a limb here (tongue firmly planted in cheek) and suggest that it might not be a good idea to give your kids cigarettes.
Some where the old phallic symbol himself, Joe Camel, is laughing his “arse” off
Now of course if you should find yourself in a similar situation, as the two aforementioned Einsteins masquerading as parents, and you want to help your toddler kick the habit…well AppAdvice wants you to know there’s assorted apps for that:
Quit Smoking is a $ .99 application that presents useful information such as the money a quitter has saved and the extra years he has gained during the time he has stopped smoking.
Smoke Out is a $1.99 app that provides a little bit of motivation to help overcome cigarette cravings. Much like the above mentioned app, Smoke Out, keeps track of how long it has been since you quit and shows how many cigarettes you have not smoked. Smoke Out also posts your accomplishments and stats to Facebook and Twitter to let your friends know how you are doing.
Quit Smoking Cold Turkey is a $4.99 app that helps you stop smoking by dealing with cravings. If you feel a craving press the “Help! I Feel Like Smoking!” and Cold Turkey will provide ideas for beating cravings and easing withdrawal symptoms. The app also shows you steps to take if a craving hits while driving and what foods to avoid if you are in the midst of quitting.
I bet the developers never had chain smoking babies in mind when they designed these apps.