I’m a new writer at AppAvice, and I have a speciality. I review the apps that make us question the direction that the human race is headed towards, the apps that makes us wonder how many drinks went into the app idea in the first place, but, most importantly, those apps that make us wonder, “Really, Guys?”

ABuzz combines both work and pleasure for the socially paranoid. With all the smack that gets thrown around in social media sites, it’s easy to be curious about exactly what other people are saying. It’d be nice to follow up on blogs to see what flamewar might be raging behind your back. It could even be financially beneficial to see if people are into your product or not.

This app advertizes that you can use it to check up on teachers, coworkers, ex-lovers, and business competition to make sure that your image is on track. I thought, “Hey, this could be fun to play around with.” I don’t have any scathing ex-anythings. So, the chances of finding me on high-profile blogs are laughable. It’s not like I could simply google myself and turn anything up. My dad owns a local pie shop, so I know how different it is trying to advertize for a small business. This app could really come in handy for the small business owner who doesn’t have the funds to hire a PR rep but still wants to check out their quality response to the masses.

Yeah, except it didn’t. I had a blast trying to read the inexplicable Spanish results for my dad’s business. The name of the business is Anglo-Saxon at best. I seriously didn’t understand why Spanish, but it was fun nonetheless. My name turned up a completely different set of goodies though: the personal chats of complete strangers that were unrelated to me in every sense of the word. You would not believe how many posts about dropping phones in their toilets turned up when I searched for my name. Chances are, searching for an ex is going to turn up similar results. It’s funny to see strangers trying to help strangers air out and clean out their spoiled phones, but it definitely wasn’t the Personal Relations help that I seeking.

If serious stalking is something you’re into, something you dream about at night and plot about by day, then you can do it through much less expensive means. If you suspect some smear on a friend’s blog, you can get the feed. Facebook is a petri dish of socially awkward postings. Tweets can be sent to you anytime, anywhere. If you can follow celebrities, then you can follow your boss whom you suspect to be having a secret liaison with the cafeteria manager. Basically, if you want an eye to the telescopic lens done right, you’re better off doing it yourself.

Abuzz is available in the Apple App Store now, for $4.99.