Apparently, there are people who go to jail so often that they have an app to auto-email loved ones to come bail them out. For your convenience, Off To Jail will even list the local bail bonds locations in case your friends and family don’t have the money on them. Nothing says, “I love you,” like trusting others to spend hundreds of dollars for your release.
I’m a goody-goody. I have always been. I never even got detention while I was in school. If I was ever in a situation that resulted in my required presence in a local detainment facility, I would be reduced to a puddle of submissive and penitent tears. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. My first thought wouldn’t be to ask my husband to break out the piggy bank for our rainy day get out of jail funds. My first thought would be to ask for a priest of some sort since I would be convinced that I would die there. I also wouldn’t have a prepared list of people that I could contact in the event of such an occurrence. My husband would think that I was joking, and my parents would dole out some hard love and tell me to rot there. It’s because they care, really.
Obviously, I think it’s pretty ridiculous to have an app dedicated to alerting people when you go off to jail. You can store contacts that are immediately alerted that you are in the process of being taken into custody with a customized message. I would probably benefit from not actually having to talk to anyone since I would be too hysterical to make any sense. However, I emphasize that this app would be handy to those who have already been arrested and think that it would speed up the process that, I’m sure, already feels routine. If you’re really interested, you can read your own Miranda rights as well. I’ve seen enough “Law & Order” to have that covered though. So, I’m good.