Crazy Teapots ($0.99) by Alexander Efremov is a 3-D deathmatch game where players take on the role of a blood thirsty teapot battling against other teapots in an all out fruit-flinging war.
What does fruit have to do with teapots? I’m not sure, but these crazed teapots have an arsenal of bananas, watermelons, and pineapples to hurl at each other as they fight for dominance.
This game has absolutely no tutorial at all, which is strange for a game with less than intuitive controls. I opened the game to a screen full of fruits and vegetables, and I had no idea what was going on.
As it turns out, this is an arena deathmatch that takes place in a maze-like level. The tomato on the left side of the screen is the joystick that controls movement, while the zucchini on the right controls the camera. You shoot by tapping what I assume is a peach, and switch fruity weapons by tapping the apricot.
I know this control scheme sounds quirky and cute, but it’s not. It’s overly large, difficult to use (the camera especially), and unintuitive. The UI is ridiculously cluttered, making it hard to see what’s going on in the actual game, and turning while shooting at the same time is a frustrating task.
You can throw bananas, pineapple, and watermelon, and while I’m not sure, I suspect pineapples and watermelons do more damage. You’re given a limited amount of fruit, but more can be found throughout the level, so you’ll have to be continually on the move.
Your health meter is located at the bottom of the screen, and it will be depleted each time a fruit lands on you. You can grab extra hearts and shields from the level, which offer additional protection from your enemies.
There are three different camera views that you can use while playing: first person, third person above, and third person behind. There’s also a small map on the screen so you can see exactly where enemies are located (all but useless on the iPhone’s small screen).
Crazy Teapots has a decent concept, but the execution is lacking. The controls are hard to use, the screen is way too cluttered, and the game itself is less than challenging with the included map of each arena.