I don’t know why the police have the reputation for liking doughnuts so much. There are jokes, bumper stickers, and now apps that bring the two of them together. The Police Story is a game that makes doughnut collecting a priority and catching a super villan a mere goal.

The bad guy from 1-8

The Police Story brings back the old school method of play with tilt action to decelerate or accelerate. Tilt the device to the left to slow down, and tilt it to the right to speed up. Add a tap to jump, and those are the basic controls.

The goal of the game is to collect the doughnuts in each level and race to catch the bad guy. Each level has three doughnuts. As the level progresses, the doughnuts are placed in increasingly trickier locations. Your ability to complete the level, thankfully, does not rely on collecting all three doughnuts. So, if you become as frustrated as I did, feel free to skip the doughnuts and head straight to the finish.

At the end of each world is a dastardly villain who has committed unspeakable crimes. I don’t know what they are, but even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell because they’re so unspeakable. You defeat the boss by jumping over him back and forth as the bad guy strategically speeds up and slows down. Eventually, he falls into some pit or whatnot, and you race on to the finish.

There are other obstacles for you to overcome like boulders and breakaway planks that fall or crumble once you touch them. There are even cars that drive right at you. It’s all for the glory of a safe city and delicious doughnuts. So, that should make the possible mortal danger and tragic injuries all worthwhile, right?

The Police Story is available in the App store for $0.99.