With all the hype regarding the recent Apple event, lets take a moment to be less serious because, quite frankly, my posts aren’t as cool as the up-to-the-minute articles that everyone else has been doing. However, my app of the day does have some entertainment merit. A. K. A. meets all your needs for every fantasy name you may ever need in the future.

My pirate name.

Have you recently had a brush with the mob? Do you need to go into hiding after you testify against them? Well, don’t let the witness protection program choose your name for you. You’ll end up with something boring. Using A. K. A., you can always bet that no one else will have your particular name.

Just enter the information requested in the appropriate fields, and let destiny take control. Apparently, if I believe my western name, I was meant to be a dance hall girl. That’s right. I was fated to kick my heels up on a bar. My college education was wasted.

My true calling in life.

If you have the wonderful habit of playing role playing games online, you know that coming up with a name can be a pain in the rear. I’m a few games out from dragging my nose across the keyboard and seeing what pops up. With A. K. A., there’s a drop down menu under the fantasy section. You can see what your name would be as a human, elf, orc, dwarf, or even the undead. For now, I think the results will be better than dragging my nose across the keyboard. It would also be more sanitary.

The mafia, western, and ninja names were all highly creative. I’m still trying to figure out how they came up with them. Some of the names I found to be slightly disappointing. The spy name was my middle name and the name of the street I live on. The superhero name was a color and the name of my dad’s car. My dad drives an Elantra. There’s nothing thrilling about the Elantra.

You can switch back and forth between which gender you want a name for. Just going back and forth will change the name. So, if you have a different gender character you play online, you can still have the app come up with a spiffy name.

If you feel like breaking the bank and paying for the app, you can have your name imposed over one of those well-known hello stickers that everyone is forced to wear at high school reunions. For me, all that matters was discovering my destiny as a dancer. I’m going to get right on that.

A. K. A. is available in the App Store for the awesome price of FREE!