by Kathryn Zane
July 20, 2011
When I go out on vacation, I actually relax. I lay on the beach, I read, I see the sights and I try the local food. I'm not one of those people who goes looking for all the different ways that I can push my body to the limit. I wouldn't even consider myself a thrill seeker. So, when I consider the awesome chance to go to Spain for vacation, I think of the food, the literature, the sculptures and the architecture. I do not think about running in front of rampaging animals who are bent on sticking a horn into any soft part of my body that they have access to. Therefore, I find it odd that a bull running app exists in order to help people train for such an event. Bullrunning Trainer offers information, pointers and tips about how to go running with the bulls. Not that I could survive such an ordeal long enough to feel good about doing it. The event lasts for about three minutes. That's one hundred and eighty seconds for your kidneys to mass produce about as much adrenaline as your system can handle. Three minutes is long enough to drown or choke to death. Apparently, it's also as long as it takes to get trampled by a stampede or be gored to death. All are rather grisly ways to die, so I won't bother with a "would you rather" scenario. Regardless of all that motivation to keep your legs moving, it's impossible to run the 800 meter course in its entirety. So, runners pick a part of the course that they want to run. When they've had their fill, they pull off to the side and hop a fence. At least that's the plan. It all sounds so simple, doesn't it? Get in front of the bulls, run until your little legs are about to give out and then jump out when you're ready to take a break. There's also a quiz for how well you would cope with all the little hiccups. There are weather conditions to take into account. Who knew that when careening down a steep slope you wouldn't want torrential waves of rain pouring down onto the streets? It also seems that the event frowns upon running while under the influence of alcohol and drugs or while supremely sleep deprived. I think I've made my stance understood that my life or the lives of my loved ones would have to be at stake for me to consider running in front of non-castrated beef running after me down a narrow street. I would be getting all the beauty sleep I could before having to do something like that. While I would love to say that I would make sure that I was drug-free and sane in the head while running, I would probably need a little something-something to get me out into that street. If you think you've still got what it takes to face down some mean bulls, there's a trainer option that maps out the trek. You can decide which part you're best suited for. You can either be short and high-intensity, or you can run long-distance while the bulls slow down. Whichever one you decide on, you still get bragging rights. I however, will be watching from the stands while eating a taco. Bullrunning Trainer is available on the App Store for the awesome price of FREE!