For some reason, this thing‘s been making the rounds lately. Purpose(less)-built by Japanese parts-maker Marudai out of a huge, heavy, inch-thick slab of steel, this 4.4-pound case is supposedly strong enough to take a .50 caliber bullet.

Of course, it’ll only take said bullet in the rear, leaving the other five sides of your handset generally unfit for war zone deployment. But even assuming some sniper actually zeros in on that plated backside, there’s simply no way your iPhone would survive 13,000-plus foot-pounds of energy spread across the small impact site. And if you happen to be holding the rig when that shot goes down, there’s no way you would survive the shock, either.

Sure, it might fare better against small arms fire, but then again, a naked iPhone’s pretty good at that too.

At an outlandish $650, this is hands-down the poorest case I’ve ever seen. It’s too bulky and heavy to use, it only effectively protects one side of your handset, and it costs more than an unsubsidized iPhone. Rootcases ain’t got nothin’ on Marudai!

You should totally buy one.