I love geeky things. LED belt buckles, lightsaber chopsticks, and neckties that depict the old 8-bit Mario Brothers games are just a few of my favorite gadgets. There are many, many more such wonderful toys in the world. However, the power of geekiness can be misused. The 9Geek Cookie is an app that is completely nonsensical and uses the word “geek” as bait. I am displeased.

Who is Barney, and what has he done?

The 9Geek Cookie is a universal app that features a fortune cookie that you can open every day. Well, you’re suppose to, anyway. I opened it yesterday, and I waited until today to see how it works. That’s how dedicated I am. Yet, when I opened the app up today, the fortune was blank. Now, when I go to a Chinese restaurant and get a blank fortune, it’s hilarious. When I open up a digital fortune cookie and see a blank message, that means the app is broken. It doesn’t get the same consideration that the Chinese restaurant got, mainly because I didn’t get any yummy wontons out of the transaction. Wontons always soften criticism.

There’s also a problem with the fortunes themselves. They’re nonsense. Someone stuffed gibberish into Google Translate and put English gibberish into the fortune cookie program. At least, that’s what I assume because I can’t imagine Google Translate screwing up this badly by accident. As you can see from above, the fortune has something to do with awesome Barney striking again. I can only imagine that it has something to do with Barney from the TV show “How I Met Your Mother” or a big, purple dinosaur. Neither one makes much sense in a fortune cookie.

Now that I think about it, the nine in the app name doesn’t make any sense either. I thought it was joke or something, but the information in the App Store refers to “true 9gagers.” Unless this means that there are nine sociopathic, suffocating killers out there, then I don’t understand what a “9gager” is at all. It’s also not related to the company name. I checked. I’ll let it be for now.

I’m also going to call shenanigans on what I see at the bottom of the screen. Yes, I am referring to the blatant call for advertisers in that white section. It was in poor taste. There. I said it. I can understand people making money with an app. I understand the necessity for advertisers when designing a free app. I don’t agree with making an app that does a poor job and using a banner to beg for advertisers. If you don’t have any ads to run, then leave the banner out of the app. You can always include ads as an update once you actually have advertisers.

Do you think it’s in poor taste to have banners announcing ad space, or is it a great marketing tool for gaining potential advertisers?

The 9Geek Cookie application is available in the App Store for the awesome price of FREE!