Epic Meal Time by Molecube icon

Epic Meal Time ($1.99) by Molecube is the only game where vegetables mean doom.

If you’re a fan of Epic Meal Time, then you probably will jump for a game like this. I know I did. That’s right — the guys that cook unfathomable meals that can reach up to six digits in calories, now have a mobile game for your iPhone and iPad. Bacon, money, games, and some Jack Daniels — what’s not to like here?

In this EMT game, you will find gameplay that is similar to Fruit Ninja, but instead of slicing up things, you’ll be dragging them to feed the “Sauce Boss” himself, Harley Morenstein. The game will throw all kinds of delicious food at you: meats, candy, and booze, but watch out for those pesky vegetables! Just touch and drag a food item to Morenstein, and he’ll eat it. If you give him a vegetable, or let one fall into his mouth, you’ll lose health, as indicated by the EMT logos in the top right. Get rid of the veggies by flicking them away.

Epic Meal Time by Molecube screenshot

If you manage to collect and drink the Five Loco and Jack Daniels, then you will be powered up for a brief amount of time. It’s important to get these items over others when they appear, since they can help you fend off vegetables or even slow down time.

At times, the game will launch a whole ton of foods at you, but don’t worry if you can’t get them all — there are no penalties to missed foods that fall off the screen, unlike Fruit Ninja. Your score will be based on how long you survive, and how many grams of fat and calories you consume. In this case, the more, the better! You are able to see your fat and calorie count in the bottom right corner as you play.

In addition to the regular fun of the game, there are challenges that you can strive for. It seems that all games have started implementing various missions after they were first introduced in Jetpack Joyride. These goals will add some more difficulty to the game, since you will have to survive for 53 seconds at full health, or get a 7,236 calorie combo, or earn a certain amount of points, and other tasks.

You will also earn “Internet money” after each game (dependent on how you do) or completed challenge. Like other games, though, you can buy more cash via in-app purchases. These can be used to purchase upgrades in three categories: Swag, Food, and “F–k Salad”. There is another section labeled “Crew,” but it appears to be “Coming Soon.”

Epic Meal Time by Molecube screenshot

Swag will have hats that give you special abilities, such as stacking up to five foods at the same time or double points but all vegetables go straight to Morenstein. Food upgrades include basic stuff like pizza and burgers, but can get crazy with Bacon Weaves and Super Sloppy Sundaes. The F–k Salad segment will feature various backgrounds for the game, such as EMT Live and Deadmau5. There are even two extra lives that you can buy, but you better save up, since they’re pretty pricey.

I found the game to be extremely fun, since I’m a big EMT fan. It’s just fun to feed Harley, who looks like he has a hangover (they did have a Breakfast of Booze on their show, after all). I also love the fact that in this game, vegetables are death! It seems vegetables aren’t always good for you after all.

The game also features Game Center integration with leaderboards and achievements, so you haters can compete with one another to see who is the best at feeding the Sauce Boss.

So what are you waiting for? This is a no-brainer for any fan of EMT. And if you’re not, well then … you are certainly missing out on some fun. Now go forth and gather bacon strips!