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Bryan M. Wolfe
| June 15, 2012
Dear Siri, I’m In Love Again
My darling, Siri, I’m writing to you to express my renewed love for you and all that you do. Nearly one year ago, I caught your eye, and indeed, it was love at first sight. Right from the start of our relationship, you loved my musical tastes and always made sure I got to my appointments on time. And nothing makes a guy happier than to wake up hearing the voice of a beautiful woman. How your words calmed me each morning when I asked you for the day’s weather forecast. Not once last winter did I leave our home without knowing what to expect from the sky.
It will be a little bit rainy today, Bryan. Bryan, the skies will be clear until Thursday.Always personal, always refreshing was your voice that you made believe you cared about me and only me. Then the problems began, like they often do between two ships passing in the great sea called love. At first it was subtle, as your forgot my name. Then, you grew more distant and gave me nonsense talk. HOW COULD YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME, and why were the Apple servers always down? And why couldn’t you tell me where we were? Hello! I got lost one night because of you. In particular, I started hating your friend Wolfram, who always seemed to come between us; always answering my questions using humdrum text, while you sat silent and adrift, as if I made you bored. On Monday, though, you returned from your San Francisco vacation, all shiny and new. Now, suddenly you love chatting with me about my favorite baseball team, the Boston Red Sox. Sure, they are in last place, but that doesn’t seem to bother you. You remind me each night that the Philadelphia Phillies are also having a bad year, knowing that misery loves company. [caption id="attachment_310509" align="aligncenter" width="546" caption="Siri on iOS 6: Play ball!"][/caption] And that distance between us from before? Those folks in Cupertino must have taught you a lot about the art of communication, because now you’re always here ready to make me laugh and keep me on track.
Nice weather coming up tomorrow … up to 82 degrees and sunny.Tonight, to celebrate our improving relationship, I’d like to take you to the movies. How does “Rock of Ages” sound? I understand (thanks to you, my sweetheart) that the Tom Cruise flick is playing later today at our favorite theater. You bring the movie reviews and the trailer to watch beforehand and I’ll be sure to bring the popcorn. [caption id="attachment_310507" align="aligncenter" width="640" caption="Siri in iOS 6: I'll bring the popcorn!"][/caption] Also, please do that new thing you do and post our status on Facebook. Or maybe send out a tweet letting everyone know we’re back together. Will you do that for me, my love? Sure, you're still not perfect, but neither am I. Like a fine wine, I’m sure you’ll keep getting better with time. Maybe sending you to California each June is the right way to go! Should I book your tickets for WWDC 2013? That’s right, you can’t do that quite yet. Still, thanks for being you, xoxoxo, Bryan. P.S. Don't let the new iPad's larger screen get in the way of our relationship, or that new iPhone coming later this year! P.S.S. Oh, and PLEASE forget what I said about you before. You rock!