My First Cow Clicker

Despite the explosion in cow clicking among the techno-hipster elite, our kids are being left behind. Today's children risk becoming the first generation that clicks fewer cows than their parents.

No more. Make an investment in your child's future cow clicking aptitude with My First Cow Clicker, the world's first mootriculation game.

Through a repetitive cow clicking drill cleverly disguised as an entertaining videogame, your youngster will learn how to click a cow effectively. In the process, your lad or lass will also learn to recognize the names and shapes of dozens of different Cow Clicker cows.

And as a parent devoted to Cow Clicker on Facebook, you can outsource your clicks to your kids. Just make sure junior plays My First Cow Clicker every six hours, and then log in securely to click your grown-up cow, earning a click in the process. Why just instrumentalize your friends when you can exploit your kids too?

Even better yet, once you click your cow, you can publish your child's My First Cow Clicker scores and medals to your Facebook feed. Show your friends' what moorons their kids are compared to yours—and in the process prod them to improve the cow clicking aptitude of their own calves.

Attention collectors! When you buy Cow Clicker Moobile, you'll get a special, limited-edition "My First Cow," hand drawn by the daughter of Cow Clicker's creator. You can only obtain it by purchasing this app.

(My First Cow will be awarded after the first time you click the parent's cow. Open the parent's console following the swipe instructions first shown on launch, create a passcode, login to Facebook, and click your cow. The My First Cow will be awarded and appear as a gift cow in Cow Clicker.)