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Review: Crazy Tanks

February 1, 2009


Crazy Tanks is like a mini-game you’d find in Mario Party or Rayman Raving Rabbids. Players steer their tank around an arena, tapping the screen to shoot enemy tanks and grabbing power-ups. That’s it! The game has a very kid-friendly feel with cartoony graphics and very little standing in the way of your enjoyment. Like most mini-games, there’s no deep, extensive gameplay to delve into, but what’d you expect for a dollar?


  • Steering Wheel? Nah, That’s An iPhone.
I’m lucky this week. First I get Space Ninja, and now I’ve got Crazy Tanks, both of which sport very natural-feeling accelerometer controls. The steering (along with pretty much everything else in the game) is so intuitive that you’ll likely never have to read the controls.
  • Wait, I Died?!
Even on Normal difficulty I was surprised that the game was actually kind of challenging! Crazy Tanks: More Than Meets the Eye.
  • Tanks Can Be Cute, Too!
I never thought I’d say that, but there you have it. The graphics and the little “boom”s that pop up from each tank make what might otherwise be a kind of bland shoot-em-up into a fairly adorable little toy battle. Reminds me of a game called Toy Commander for the Dreamcast. I miss that game.


The Good: Crazy Tanks just felt well put-together. Driving was smooth and easy, especially considering you’re driving a tank. It always felt like the player’s tank was just a little faster than the enemy’s, giving you an edge against their superior numbers. You’ll have to use every tool you’ve got, because your tank’ll explode faster than you think it will. Each level had its own flavor, some set in industrial zones, others in flowery fields. Power-ups were plentiful, but not in such abundance that you could just breeze through each level. If you get too hurt, you’ll have to go searching for a health pack or risk fiery cartoon death. I like this; many action games allow you to run on empty for far too long.

I don’t think tank drivers are known for their finesse when it comes to shooting, but in Crazy Tanks you can get pretty creative. See, your shots bounce off of walls until they’ve traveled a certain distance. I used this more than once to set up shots from behind barriers, safely keeping something between myself and my enemy. The only drawback is that it’s pretty easy to get carried away and reflect a shot back at yourself - friendly fire is dangerous! The Bad: Though overall the game was smooth and very playable, a couple framerate spikes occurred, seemingly at random. This really didn’t get in the way of things too much, but having things slow to a crawl during a heated battle was a little frustrating. Apart from driving. shooting, and winning, there’s not a lot of depth to the game. App Store reviewers are clamoring for features like multiplayer and rotating turrets. I think multiplayer is a great idea - I’d gladly pay a few more bucks for this game vs. human opponents. Rotating turrets? Not so much - I can see that being a nightmare to control.


You can’t really go wrong with this game. Not for $0.99, anyway. This will definitely keep kids and adults alike entertained for a little while, and who knows? Maybe if you get in now, while it’s cheap, and the developer upgrades it to include multiplayer, you’ll get a free upgrade. That’s called a return on your investment, friends. Seriously, though, Crazy Tanks was fun. Very reminiscent of Battle Mode from Mario Kart, without Mario, Luigi, or balloons. Plus tanks. It’s a winner!

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