Safety First! Does Protecting The iPhone Cause More Damage In The Long Run?
Ok, the secrets out…I’m a little obsessed when it comes to my iPhone. I mean for heavens sake, I write a column devoted to how the darn thing affects my everyday life! Unfortunately, at this level of obsession comes a certain amount of over (some would say disturbing) protectiveness. But, I believe my unhealthy obsession to be warranted.
Let us consider for a moment the exponential damage/complexity curve (the reader is encouraged not to do any outside research regarding the authors material, but instead to take his word at face value). Imagine along an x-axis, an increasing line of complexity for a given device. Along the y-axis we have an increasing line of potential damage to be inflicted upon said device.
With an exponential curve plotted within the graph we can clearly imagine that as the complexity goes up, so does the possibility of damage (couldn’t I have just said that…). So a block carved out of a single piece of wood has a very low chance of being damaged, whereas a female brain for example-what with its myriad complexities and unfathomable labyrinths of…anyway, you get the picture.
So given the potential that the iPhone has for getting damaged, it should come as no surprise that I am keen to be protective. What should come as a surprise is just how far I seem to go to keep it safe.
I don’t know if it is just me, but I sure tend to be extremely selective when it comes to other people using my iPhone…or touching it…or thinking about it. Most of the time I will just try to avoid letting them use it by quickly changing the subject or acting like I have something important I need to check. However, if for some reason I relent (due to some really stubborn insistence on their part), then there are stipulations involved. For example; they have to make sure their fingers are thoroughly greaseless so as not to smudge the screen. Also, they must make sure not to jostle it too much so as to decalibrate the accelerometer (which im not even sure if that is a something that could even happen…but it sounds harmful).
Then, when they have finally tired of my hawklike brooding over their shoulder and given it back, I have to make sure they know how displeased I was with the whole venture by making a grand dramatic gesture of wiping off the screen with my shirt. I know…I’m lucky I even have friends who ask to use my phone.
This over protectiveness has led me, I think, to some pretty bad places though. For example, many of the activities I attend would no doubt be so much cooler if the iPhone were there with me. Like how many amazing pictures could I take at my friends pool-party when the local girls college volleyball team is having a BBQ? And yet I do not even bring it along for fear of dropping it in those foreboding waters. Several of my friends have lost their iPhones to the pool, and sadly enough this seems to be the one thing that the Care Plans do not cover.
Same thing for when I’m out eating for fear of grease stains, or when I’m exercising (when the workout apps could actually be useful) for fear of blunt force trauma, etc.
I even ignore the prime directive for the iPhone (phone calls…in case its mulitfunctionality has confused some)! Fearing the smudge yet again, I will usually only answer a call if I have the headphones in- I mean, I’m missing all the little joys of the proximity sensor turning on and off the screen! What a waste!
The lesson in Finding Nemo seems to apply here. ‘If you never let anything happen to it, then nothing’ll ever happen with it.’ Is it possible that in trying to zealously protect it (and I realize that I am probably a little more extreme than most) that I am missing out on all of its coolest functions and all the fun experiences I could have with it?
What about you guys? Are ya’ll overprotective too? Have I taken it too far?