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Review: Bonecruncher Soccer - That's Gonna Hurt

Review: Bonecruncher Soccer - That's Gonna Hurt

October 18, 2010


Imagine stripping away the complexities of a full fledged 11 on 11 Soccer match, and giving you just one objective. In Bonecruncher Soccer you just need to control one player and dodge multiple defenders to get to the goal, and then shoot on goal. If the game sounds like Backbreaker Football, but with Soccer, that's because that's exactly what it is.


The game features four difficulties with each difficulty having ten waves to complete, and only amateur is unlocked to begin. There is also a shootout mode where you just kick on goal trying to hit the various point targets in the goal. The game offers tilt controls to move, you can tap anywhere to sprint, and you swipe horizontal for juke moves, and vertical for spin moves to the left or right. You also get to customize your player's look.

The Good

The game is simple and fast paced as you just have one goal, and there is a lot of action in the process of that goal. Defenders come at you one at a time, and you need the timing just right to dodge them. Once you get through all the defenders the screen freezes in the box allowing you to shoot on goal to complete the wave. As you progress in difficulties new sections are added to the field like certain paths to go through. In the goal there are targets for bonus points, and certain moves are for certain points with your total kept track of via Game Center. The game is easy to control with limited options and abilities to make it just you against the defender, and eventually the wide open goal. The game looks amazing on the retina display, and the player animations are so authentic. Every spin and juke by you as well as slides and dives by opponents look more realistic than any other sports game.

The Bad

The game is called Bonecruncher Soccer, but the bone crunching part is lacking. Sure there are the bone crunching sound effects, but your player just falls pitifully to the ground rather than a massive teeth rattling screen shaking hit. Also there aren’t ankle breaking moves on your part either. The controls aren't the most precise, but the lack of controls is the real problem. You can only juke or spin left or right which gets extremely repetitive quickly. When you get to the goal it's tough to make a precise shot without precise controls, and an unknown power scale when you do flick towards the goal. It seems your shot dribbles into the net or shoots over it into the stands, and there is no consistency to equate to the power of your flick. The gameplay is a mechanic we've seen before that got extremely stale, and now even more so. You can only dodge defenders for so long when it's the same thing over and over. There are multiple difficulties, but the game is too repetitive to want to keep going through the game.

The Verdict

Bonecruncher Soccer is a disappointment to its name lacking any bone crunching action. The game is similar to Backbreaker Football, but with Soccer, and just like that game this one gets repetitive rapidly. There is no incentive to keep going through the game knowing it will just be more of the same with limited control abilities. Bonecruncher Soccer is not worth it as it's far too repetitive with many more deluxe games out there.

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