The Oregon Trail - Really Guys?
by Kathryn Zane
April 14, 2011
As a kid, I would boot up my computer and watch a horribly pixelated handcart edge its way across the screen, only to inform me that I died of dysentery or cholera. I didn't even know what those diseases where at the time, I just knew that it bumped me off from topping my high score. Now that I know what those diseases are, there's still a twinge of residual bitterness aimed solely at the game and not the utter devastation that they're capable of.
I'm speaking about the wondrous game known as The Oregon Trail. The point of the game is to take your covered wagon across the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains. Along the way, players make decisions about what supplies to buy, when to rest, and, most importantly, how fast to go and still get there with everyone in one piece. The trail is lined with forts and landmarks that players move towards with options to talk to others and complete side missions. The final score is tallied up by computing how many people from your party made it through the game, how healthy they are, and how many side missions were completed.
So, when I saw that it was available on iTunes, I was more than excited. I thought, “What amazing devs do I need to send a gourmet gift basket to for all major holidays?” Then I played it, and I was left wanting. It really isn't a bad game at all. It's great for kids and will certainly keep adults entertained while they wait in a doctor's office. It's different enough though for those who purchase it for nostalgia.
Characters can choose their profession in the beginning of the game, but you don't get to choose the supplies you start out with. It really is sort of a bummer. Part of the fun was strategizing what the best start-up combo was. You also don't get to trade at landmark areas anymore. You can only buy at the General Store at forts. You earn money to buy these goods from working at the Post Office. Remember that game Simon? With the lights and having to hit the buttons in the right order? That's the game you play to earn money. It was a surprising blast from the past. You can only play one round, though, and it cuts you off once you reach a certain length.
The greatest disappointment was the hunting. Oh come on! I'm sure everyone at one point or another watched the pixelated buffalos march across the screen and took down as many as they could just to check out how many pounds they took away. That just isn't an option here. The game makes it a mission to kill a certain amount of animals in a certain amount of time.
This game is The Oregon Trail 2.0 or The Oregon Trail: Next Generation. It's just not the same. That's what makes this game the “Really Guys?” app of the day. I want a downgrade. I said it. I want my upgraded The Oregon Trail game to be downgraded to horrible graphics, mediocre sound quality, and a singular plot line. I don't understand how developers could bring these feelings out in me, but they are there, and they are real.
If I thought that begging the developers on bended knee with flowers in my arms to make another version, one that's exactly the same as the old one, would bring my wish to fruition, I would do it. I think any other Oregon Trail enthusiast would do the same. Maybe not with the flowers or while wearing an expensive suit, but the sentiment would be the same.
The Oregon Trail available on the App Store now for $0.99