Quirky App Of The Day: Michelle
by Kathryn Zane
June 1, 2011
I used to play with Barbies when I was little. I had beautiful clothes that I dressed her with and gave her matching shoes (if I could find them) and purses. She had her own house and I played "family" for hours with my sister or friends. Ken would go to work in a car, which I would slash and kill to own nowadays, at my dream job of writing his own book. Sometimes he had more fun than Barbie. Other times, I would pretend that he went to my dad's work so that my dad wouldn't be lonely. I can't tell if that's endearing or a little strange. Barbie would take Kelly to school and give her a packed lunch (Which was a real treat to me as a kid), and then Barbie would come home and read her favorite books that Ken (and Dr. Deus) wrote. Mainly, his magnum opus, The Cat in the Hat. Good heavens, I was not normal.
So, what does this cute/creepy story of my childhood have to do with quirky apps? Enter Michelle. She's a virtual girlfriend that you can dress up and play with. I mentioned before that I have an interest in things that are creepy, and I get the shivers when I'm in the presence of such creepy apps. This one set my radar off.
Michelle is a posable girlfriend. Much like my old Barbies. You can choose the background and her position. Out on the beach, she can lay on a towel, sit up, or dance for you. Out by the pool, she can sit on a lounge chair under an umbrella, stand by the edge, or swim. You can even customize what she looks like. There are different hair styles and colors to choose from, and even her nails are customizable. Pick a different cut of bathing suit and its color. Sorry, but having her go completely nude isn't an option.
Then, after you get your new girlfriend to look just right, you watch. Nothing else really. You can zoom in or rotate the camera, but you're still just watching her. Maybe it's because I'm a female that I just don't appreciate it. Maybe it's because I'm not all that big a fan of tanning and laying around on a towel. Maybe it's because after all is said and done, she still looks like one of my childhood dolls.
Whatever the reason, Michelle gives me the same creepy feeling that Toy Story first did. Like if I don't take care of them, they'll come after me for swift retribution in the night. I think there's the distinct possibility that after reviewing so many creepy, disgusting, and disturbing app reviews, I'm permanently tainted from enjoying the simpler apps in life. Either that, or the vacant, hollow look in her eyes and mechanical motions of her body speak of a shell without a soul that's looking to steal yours for continued bodily animation. Suddenly, I can see Michelle 2: Revenge upon the Beach Rape being released to iTunes in the future.
However, if you wish to make Michelle your own, personal honey, she's available at iTunes $0.99
