by Kathryn Zane
June 2, 2011
Every office has a jerk. Or two, or three, or the whole dang place. The one who whines about the unfairness of his workload while everyone else has to pull the same weight. The one who never has anything nice to say about anything. The one who is impossible to please no matter what. Perhaps he's the office suck-up as well. The one always kissing the boss's butt rather than doing his work. The one you just want to plant a fist in every time you see him. Office Jerk is an app that lets you take out your frustrations on a virtual version of the poor sap that everyone in the workplace loves to hate. Throw various items at him and listen to him react helplessly as you pelt him in the face with another object. He groans, squeaks and moans in pain as you hit him with various office supplies. I was maliciously enthralled. Now is a great time to mention that in real life, I am a sane person who is afraid of inflicting pain on anyone else. I get nervous around blood, and I've had enough medical training to see the internal structure of the body being mangled in my mind's eye when I see an injury. For some reason though, being able to take out my frustrations on someone in a virtual way does actually bring me some sort of small happiness. Therefore, when I found out that the fan acting as an obstacle was something that I could hurl at him, I was all over it. You can hit him in the back of the head, giving him quite the bump. His head also smashes into the screen. No blood. Just satisfying disgruntled sounds from him. However, there are other objects to pelt him with. Throw those leftover cupcakes from the break room that has the crusty, gross frosting. You know, those things that no one throws out, but no one eats. If you're more into traditional office torture, pencils and erasers are a part of your arsenal. There's even pie for those with a traditional sense of humor. Office Jerk is available at iTunes for the awesome price of FREE!