I Pity The Fool That Crosses Commander Cool
Commander Cool ($0.99) by Janzen & Strauß combines the classic platform genre of games like Super Mario Bros. with the crass humor of Duke Nukem.
The Evil is threatening the world, and it’s up to Commander Cool to save it (again). Armed with a pistol and a parachute, he has 35 levels to plow his way through. Henchman, land mines, and other obstacles will try to get in the way, but Cool doesn’t care.
Four different chapters provided different landscapes to play against. Jungle Boogy (sic), Snow Hell, Desert Storm, and E.V.I.L will each present different challenges. Toss in some moving platforms and teleport portals and you’ve really got a deal.
What’s funny about this game is that you have the aesthetics of the worlds from Super Mario Bros. (smiley face clouds, bright shiny coins), combined with beefy drops of blood from bullet wounds.
The tongue-in-cheek elements, such as the “Oh noes!” game over screen and Cool’s funny way of jumping, give a nod to the arcade games of yore.
Even more humor can be found in the achievements. “John McClane” is awarded for killing 100 enemies, getting hit 100 times will earn you the “masochist” achievement, and “Chuck Norris” is for completing a level without any damage.
The controls include a left and right move button and jump and fire buttons (“A” and “B” buttons, respectively). Whenever he falls off an edge, the parachute will automatically deploy.
Though using the parachute is tricky, since the movement controls become looser and the parachute isn’t exactly reliable with either deploying or staying deployed.
This game can be played on the iPad, though the placement of the controls isn’t exactly ergonomic in that case. Until an HD version comes out, I’d only look into this if you have an iPhone or iPod Touch.
This game is cool. Commander Cool. The fun gameplay and classic arcade humor are sure to please any gamer.
