Murder Annoyingly-Cute Animals In This Kawaii-Killing Arcade Game

Update: It has come to our attention that Kawaii Killer has, in fact, been removed from the App Store. According to Apple, “The app concept [was] not appropriate for the App Store in its current state.” Although the game could be a lot more graphic in my opinion, I can see why, perhaps, it might not have been suitable for young children. Users who have already purchased the game may continue to play it.

Kawaii Killer ($2.99) by Tabemasu Games is a fairytale-themed arcade game that will use your reflexes for destruction. As you venture through a forest of kawaii animals, what better thing could be done than to mercilessly execute them? Especially when such killing would be practical, unlike in stupid games like Kick The Buddy, this seems like the only logical solution. Sometimes the world is a little cuter than we need it to be, and in Kawaii Killer, your duty is to set things straight.

Important Note: After submitting an updated version of Kawaii Killer to Apple that contained a few improvements, the developer notified me that it was rejected due to it containing “realistic images of people or animals being killed.” The developer is working with Apple on this issue, since the only violence in the game is very cartoonish and unrealistic, and I agree. In the end, Kawaii Killer is still available on the App Store, and likely will be going forward.

Now, let’s get back to the game.

The atmosphere in Kawaii Killer, with enchanted sounds and graphics, is very pleasant at first. And as soon as you begin murdering animals and witnessing their bloody, slaughtered states, you’ll feel even warmer inside.

Using conventional tools like knives, hammers, chainsaws, ropes, throwing stars, and other doodads, you can easily rid humanity of the widespread disturbance of these animals. But here’s the catch: not every weapon can kill every animal. As new creatures are introduced, you’ll have to remember the gestures used to kill them.

For example, tapping on a fox to smash its head open with a hammer is sufficient, while when it comes to those annoying pink bunnies, they’ll need their throats sliced by swiping. Furthermore, turtles will have to be killed with chainsaws by tapping and holding on them until they’re all cut up, and any skunk issues can be resolved with a quick rope around the neck by circling with your finger. The rest is gravity’s job.

In Kawaii Killer, you’ll also have to be inquisitive. For example, you must eventually learn on your own that any animal with a flower on it must be killed twice, and that any wearing a weird, hairy hat thing are to be left alone. As long as you don’t make too many mistakes or lose too many lives, you shall succeed in each stage.

If you’re a normal human being who can’t stand it when things get a little too cute or adorable, you can take out your frustration in Kawaii Killer. Using the best tools available, you can show those fairytale creatures who’s boss, and return the world to a state of sanity. The end result is a warm, fuzzy feeling inside that you get from knowing that you’ve done what’s right to those meaningless forms of life.

As a $2.99 universal download, you can find Kawaii Killer on the App Store here.